Why Padfoot Should Tell Moony
by ThatFilmStudent
Summary: It's the day after the full moon, and Remus is knackered. He rests up in his dorm for the day and finds a note on his pillow. He soon realises that it's a note Sirius has written for him, and it holds some important information that he definitely hadn't expected to read that day. Remus/Sirius. Sequel is 'Why Moony Should Tell Padfoot'.


**Why Padfoot Should Tell Moony –  
19.08.16 & 20.08.16 (edited on 22.08.16)**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters.**

* * *

Remus shivered and pulled his cloak around him tighter as he trudged slowly and carefully through the empty common room. It was mid-afternoon the day after the full moon and everyone was still in class, leaving the Gryffindor common room still and empty.

Remus climbed the stone steps to the seventh year boy's dorms tiredly. He had been released from the hospital wing since he didn't have any serious injuries and he had insisted that the other Marauder's go to classes, which left him to go back up to the Gryffindor Tower and dorms alone. Not that he was complaining. He was too weary to entertain any company at the moment anyway and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for the next two days.

He opened the door slowly and slipped into the empty room, closing the door gently behind himself. He walked stiffly over to his bed, trying to avoid straining his rigid muscles, and stripped off his cloak. He glanced around momentarily and pulled on the first clean (he sniffed it to check it was clean) jumper he could find and a fresh pair of boxers.

He decided he would have a shower after sleep. Usually he would have a shower before going to bed but Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail had had an eventful and exerting night, running around for most of the night. And right now, he needed rest.

He stared, slightly disorientated, at his tidy bed and noticed a piece of paper (not parchment, he briefly noted) resting on his pillow. It was folded over and had his name written on it. He picked it up and moved it aside as he pulled back the covers and climbed into his bed. He enshrouded his sheets around himself and looked at the folded note perplexedly. After a moment of consideration, he decided to read whatever it was later and pushed it lazily under his pillow. Mere seconds later he fell into a deep and restful slumber.

 **H+H+H+H+H**

Remus awoke hours later to the sound of the dormitory door closing – a soft click as it slotted into the doorway. Remus lay in bed, eyes still closed, silently and listened to his dorm mates creep around the room. Suddenly, he felt a dip at the side of his bed and knew it was someone sitting down.

"Moony?" he heard. He recognised it at James' voice and cracked one eye open to see two boys at his bedside. James was stood at the side, hands shoved in his pockets, smiling down at Remus. Sirius was sat next to Remus watching him intently. He heaved a relieved sigh and smiled warmly to Remus when he looked back at him.

Remus smiled weakly at the boys. While he'd had a good sleep, he was still tired. But, he did feel as though he'd be able to go to lessons the next day. He slowly brought a hand up and rubbed it over his face before he yawned widely and shifted so he was on his side rather than having his face stuffed into the pillow. He opened the other eye and glanced around the room. "Where's Peter?" he asked groggily, ignoring his croak midsentence.

"He's gone down to the kitchens for us," James answered casually. "You've missed dinner."

Remus frowned and turned his head, grimacing slightly as the kink in his neck reacted to the movement, to look out of the window by his bed. It was dark outside. "What time is it?" he asked curiously, turning back to his friends.

"Just after 8," Sirius replied. Remus nodded faintly and Sirius shifted on the bed so that he was facing Remus fully. "How're you feeling?" he asked calmly, thinly veiling the worry in his voice.

Remus smiled and groaned inaudibly as he tried to shrug nonchalantly. "I've been worse," he said truthfully. In all honesty, this was one of the better times. He reckoned he'd be fine after a little bit more rest. "D'you think I have time to shower before food comes back?" he asked, looking between the two boys.

James looked thoughtful for a moment but eventually nodded and Remus began to sit up. Sirius and James helped him out of the mounds of blankets tangled around him and helped him stand up. He stood shakily for a moment before regaining the strength in his legs. When he was sure he could stand by himself, James and Sirius let go – but kept close in case he collapsed – and he stretched out, popping and cracking his joints. James winced at the cracking and Remus couldn't help the small laugh that escaped.

"Sorry," he snickered as his arms flopped heavily back to his sides.

James stared at him, feigning annoyance, but the façade broke when he suddenly smiled and shrugged. "It's alright," he shrugged lightly. "Nice jumper, by the way," he remarked with a smirk on his face.

Remus frowned and looked down at his jumper; he then realised why James was smirking. He was wearing a jumper Sirius had bought him for his birthday in sixth year and written on it, along with a silhouette of a dog, were the words: **Property of S.O.B.** Remus looked up and glared playfully at James who sniggered. His glaring didn't have much weight to it since Sirius was also standing next to Remus, holding out his hands to steady him if needs be.

He looked at Sirius who just smiled impishly and shrugged one shoulder. "I agree, Prongs," he chirped. He and James grinned at each other and high-fived (stupidly, in Remus' opinion). Remus sighed, rolled his eyes and shook his head affectionately. James loped over to the next bed – his own bed – and collapsed heavily on it.

"Have a nice shower," James said jovially as Remus made his way to the bathroom. James plucked a magazine from under his pillow and began reading.

Sirius followed Remus to the bathroom and shut the door, not closing it all the way, behind them. They walked over to the sinks; Sirius jumped up to sit in the space between two of the sink bowls and watched Remus as Remus stood at the sink.

Remus looked in the mirror and made a face as he inspected himself. He was dirty from the mud of the Forbidden Forest and leftover blood, which Madam Pomfrey hadn't managed to clean of off him, from the actual transformation. His hair was a mess – from either sleep or the night, he didn't know – and he had a very small cut on his face next to his eyebrow. He knew it wouldn't scar but he also knew that it'd be there for the next week at least and he'd have to explain it if anyone asked.

He sighed and poured out a small capful of mouthwash. Sirius stared at him intently, watching as Remus studied himself. "You look fine, Moony," Sirius said softly, softer than most people got to hear him, as he fidgeted with his sleeve absentmindedly. Remus glanced at him quickly before turning his attention back to his task. "Honestly. You'll be right as sun when you've had a shower," he said positively.

Remus laughed. "You mean 'right as rain'," he said looking back at Sirius from the side.

Sirius frowned. "Really?" he asked as if he thought the right saying was stupid. He shrugged. "The sun's nicer," he defended lightly.

Remus huffed a laugh and shook his head again mutely. "You don't have to be in here, you know," he informed before he poured the mouthwash into his mouth and started swashing it around.

"Yeah, I know," Sirius shrugged noncommittally. He watched Remus for a moment before continuing. "You didn't miss much today. It was mainly just things you've already read in the books," Sirius said, referring to the days lessons.

Remus nodded and spat into the sink. He ran the tap and washed out the sink. He collected some water in one hand and swashed his mouth out with water to get rid of some of the strength of the minty liquid. "Right," he said. "That's good."

Sirius cleared his throat nervously before he spoke again. "Did you, um… Did you happen to find a note on your pillow earlier?" he asked composedly but Remus could hear a shakiness in his voice that could be construed as worry or nerves. He also noticed that Sirius was avoiding his questioning gaze and looking around the room.

Remus searched his memory. It was always fuzzy around the full moon. He vaguely recalled a memory of finding something on his pillow. But, he hadn't remembered it. Until Sirius reminded him, of course. He nodded. "Yes," he answered quietly, remembering that Sirius wasn't looking at him. "I did. But I haven't read it yet. Why?" He pushed away from the sinks and made his way over to the shower cubicles.

Sirius jumped off the sinks and stalked towards the door. "No reason," he called, not looking back. "I'll go get you a towel." He slinked out of the room and returned a minute with a towel in hand. He threw Remus the towel from the door, smiled and walked back out, closing the door behind him.

Remus caught the towel, **just** , and draped it over the stall wall. He frowned confusedly after his friend and his odd behaviour but inevitably shrugged it off (mentally, of course – he still had aches and pains). He knew Sirius was odd at the best of times anyway.

He heard mumbling – assuming it was Sirius and James talking – from behind the door but it was soon inaudible over the harsh spray of the shower. He removed his clothes and stepped into the shower under the hot spray of the waterfall from the showerhead. He took a long, hot shower; washing away all of the dirt and blood and events of the past night.

 **H+H+H+H+H**

After his nearly 30 minute shower, he climbed out and wrapped his towel around his waist. He felt much better after the shower. His aches were less achy and his pains were somewhat soothed from the hot water. He brushed his teeth and noticed a suitable difference in his appearance in the mirror. When he slinked out of the bathroom and into the dormitory, Peter was back and the Marauders were all sitting communally of James' bed.

Remus walked past the bed, grabbed some clean clothes and skulked back to the bathroom to change. Usually he didn't mind dressing in front of them – they had been dorm mates for 7 years after all, and they had seen him on the mornings after full moons – but he didn't like to get dressed in front of them when his wounds were fresh and still red raw.

Moment later, he left the bathroom, fully dressed in baggy PJs and even socks, and climbed on James' bed, sitting opposite Peter, next to Sirius. Sirius handed him a glass of something green. "Drink up," he demanded softly. Remus obliged, despite not knowing what it was, and grimaced at the taste. Instead of asking what concoction of Sirius' he'd just drank, he picked up some of the food and started eating quietly.

"Y'alright, Moony?" Peter asked, sitting cross legged across from him. Remus, in mid-bite, nodded to him silently. "Good," he muttered quietly. After a moment, he asked, "You comin' down to the common room? Marlene's going to verse people to arm wrestles. McKartek's goin' first. I've got money on Marlene."

Remus swallowed his food and answered. "Er, no. I think I'm going to stay up here. Rest a little longer, y'know? I think I'll be able to go to classes tomorrow if I rest up for the rest of the night."

"Right. No problem. You want us to place a bet for you?" Peter asked. Remus laughed shortly and shook his head.

After a beat of comfortable silence, Remus broke it. "It's the Quidditch game this Saturday, isn't it?" he asked no one in particular.

"Yep," James grinned. "Hufflepuff are going down," he said confidently. "I have a fool proof plan, you see m'dear Moony…" He carried on about how the game plan he created worked and how fool proof it was and why it was going to win them the match.

Sirius had already heard the game plan, what with being James' best mate, dorm mate and team mate, so he turned his attention to the yawning boy next to him. James began discussing a certain part with Peter, and Sirius leaned over to Remus slightly. "D'you want me to stay up here with you?" he asked uncertainly.

Remus turned to him and shook his head. "No. You should go down and have fun." Sirius stared at him uncertainly. "I'm serious. You should verse Marlene. Win. I'll be busy sleeping anyways."

Sirius nodded, more confident that that was what Remus wanted, and turned back as James asked him something. "Yes," he agreed despite not knowing what James had just asked him.

 **H+H+H+H+H**

Remus sighed deeply and contentedly in the silence of the empty dorm room. The other three had gone downstairs to the common room to join in socialising with the rest of the Gryffindor's and had left Remus with some food and the blissful silence of the room.

He plucked his bed covers back and looked at the consequences of leaving the shower until after his sleep. On his bedsheets were little bits of mud and dust, and blood. It was a small amount but still. Remus picked up his wand from his bedside table and whispered a quick **Scourgify** _._ Once his bed was suitably clean, he climbed in and lay on his stomach, head on its side.

He shoved his hands under the pillow for comfort and heard rather than felt something crumple. He extracted the object from under his pillow and read the front. On it was wrote: **Remus John Lupin**. He frowned and remembered the odd conversation with Sirius earlier that evening. He shifted his body so that he lay on his back and opened the paper, briefly noting it was at least three pages of writing, before reading its contents. He recognised it as Sirius' handwriting straight away.

 _Reasons why I love Moony and why I should tell him_

 _1\. His smile – the first thing I notice about him is his smile. It causes this odd sensation in my stomach._ _Evans described it quite well once. She described them as 'butterflies'. And, that's what it feels like, I suppose. Like butterflies fluttering in my stomach and coursing through my veins. It's a strange feeling, but I love it.  
_ _I really like the smile he gets when he's proud of something. When he's finished an essay, or a book. Or when he's with us and a prank goes well. I especially love it when it's aimed at me though. It makes me want to keep making him proud.  
Do you know what my favourite smile is though? It's the one he has just for me. __One that's reserved for me and me only. I don't think he even knows he does it, and I don't know how to describe it. But, I feel as though i_ _t's full of adoration and love. That smile makes my knees shake – which is strange enough – and the butterflies go over tenfold. That smile, to me, suggests that I'm the only person that can make him smile that way._

 _2._ _His laugh. It makes me shiver. It's strangely addictive. I've tried so many things over the years just to hear him laugh. I don't know why I find it to be an amazing sound, but I do. He has a bunch of different ones too. My favourite is probably that spine-tingling inducing one he does when I've said something he likes.  
But you've also got the loud one which is uncontrollable and has tears rolling out of his eyes and him clutching his stomach – usually reserved for times we've done something especially funny like that time I pushed Prongs in the Black Lake and he dragged me with him.  
There's the one he gets after a successful prank. It's sort of silent. More an intake of breath, really.  
And then there's the one he has when one of us has said something stupid. He shakes his head with it too. _

_3\. His touch. He's always warm – something I think is linked to his furry little problem_ _– so, when we're together, I'm always warm. His touch has_ _always managed to take away my anger and frustration. Madam Pomfrey would have a lot more visitors in the hospital wing if it weren't for Remus and his gentle touch. His touch can do more than just calm me down, but maybe this isn't the place to put that sort of stuff._

 _4._ _His voice. It's an odd mix between Welsh and London and Yorkshire. Honestly, I couldn't pinpoint it. He's lived all over the UK.  
It can calm me down, or send me to sleep (not in a bad way, mind you – more of a relaxing lull to sleep), or keep me interested in something (a good thing for the career he wants one day, a teacher; he doesn't think I listen but I do). When I'm having one of my "episodes" – as Prongs tends to call them – Remus is one of the few people who I can hear through the buzzing noise.  
He has a bunch of different tones. He has one that can calm me down. And one that has an air of authority to it; it usually stops us from going too far in pranks or duels.  
And he has that one that says he's proud. Proud of us for getting our work done or homework done before it's due in. The one we hear often enough but one I want to hear more. There's that excited tone he gets when we're planning or executing or getting away with a good prank or joke.  
Then there's that one I don't like. The one that shows how disappointed he is in us. In me. I hate that one. But, it's good in a way. It makes me want to be better. And I'm trying to be. And I hope he sees that._

 _5._ _His eyes – actually, this might be the first thing I notice about him; or maybe it's both his eyes and his smile that I notice simultaneously. Is that possible? To notice to things about someone at the same time? Anyway, I love his eyes. A mixture of colour and emotion. Whenever I look into his eyes, I see a multitude of colour: hazel and brown and gold and sometimes, even green. And, if I don't know how he's feeling, which is quite often if I'm honest, I just have to look in his eyes.  
They go darker when he's passionate about something. When he's ranting on about this or that. When he's had an idea or we're planning a prank. When he's reading a particularly interesting book. When he's with me (in bed).  
They go lighter when he's happy or amused at something. You can see the green really well at these times. It's so strange.  
The gold flecks get more prominent closer to the full moon and it makes his eyes seem almost fully golden sometimes. I like it. It shows the part of him that goes with Padfoot.  
They go a dark shade of brown but the gold flecks appear when he's angry. When he's angry, they seem more wolf-like and disappointed. I don't like it when he's angry. Especially when he's angry with me because I don't know what to do. Luckily, I don't see him angry very much.  
His eyes are just amazing. They can express more emotion than any other part of him. He can't hide what he's feeling when he looks at me._

 _6._ _He is inexplicably smart. He's read practically every book in the world and he knows all of these big words. He doesn't use them around us very often – which is probably good because half of the time I don't even know what half of them mean. He mainly uses them when he's around Evans or Meadowes. You know, he could probably say everything without stuttering. If he was saying this, he wouldn't stumble over his words. He'd probably describe everything better._

 _7._ _He's kind. This is both simultaneously a bad and a good thing. He can be too kind and forgiving. It's good because I have messed up so many times that, really, he shouldn't have forgiven me for half of the idiotic things I've done. But it's a bad thing because I've seen people walk all over him before. That's why I usually warn people off. Ones that I know are going to use him as a doormat. It's a good thing he's kind, though. He always says the world is full of too many bad and mean people. He reckons that world would be a far better place if there were more nice and kind people. And, I agree._

 _8._ _He's sarcastic and witty and has such a dry humour. Some people have called him cynical and 'pessimistic' but it's just part of his humour. He says he's actually a 'realist'. And he can always think up a witty remark to something someone says. It can get him into trouble – he's been caught in at least two duels that I know of because he's made someone look stupid because they're not smart enough to think of something to say back – but he can handle himself. Like I said earlier, he's smart. He can win any duel. His best subject is DADA, after all._

 _9._ _He's beautiful. And, no, I don't just mean on the outside. This'll sound incredibly soppy but, really, who's going to read this? No one. Exactly. But, he's beautiful on the inside and out. I know that sometimes he doesn't think he's as attractive as many others – mainly because of his 'furry little problem' and his scars – but I disagree. He's the only one I want to be with. He is, what Prongs likes to say, 'the only one for me'. Merlin, I hope no one reads this.  
I love his eyes and his smile, and his surprisingly lean body, and his hair, and his hands, and the way he is as a person, and his odd fashion sense. You wouldn't catch me in a baggy jumper or a cardigan but on him, they work. He suits them._

 _You know, and I'd never admit this aloud, but if he wanted to, he could break my heart. Merlin, I'd let him if he wanted to. And you know what? I wouldn't even hate him for it. If he did break my heart, I would let him and I wouldn't hate him for it. And __that's __a scary thought; that I don't mind giving him the opportunity to destroy me. Honestly, I don't think he would. I trust him enough not to. He's the only person that I feel even slightly normal with._ _  
I'm not blind. I know he's got his problems. He gets insecure sometimes. He's just as messed up as I am, truth be told. But I don't care. I think that's why we're good together. I overheard Prongs and Evans talking about us once. They didn't know I was there. But I heard them and they were talking about how we are 'perfect' for each other because we both know what it feels like to be judged. I agree. We do.  
So, why should he know?  
He needs to know that, just by looking at me in that way or smiling that smile, he can make me feel as though I am the only person on the planet. Like I'm the most important thing on the entire Earth. In the entire solar system. He needs to know because, if I don't tell him, I might just combust and reveal it to everyone at the most inappropriate time. If he doesn't know how amazing I find him, I know he'll never believe it himself. He needs to know.  
He needs to know that, on those days when I'm so low, he's the reason I wake up. Just to see him smile or hear him laugh or feel his touch. On those days when I'm so low, I'm practically licking this 'Satan' (that I heard McGregor talk about once) person's shoes, he's one of the scarce people on this entire planet that can lift me up and make me feel as though I'm worth something and that I can do anything I want.  
I need to tell him because I trust him enough not to break what's left of my heart.  
_

 _But… How do I tell him? How do I tell him all of this? I'm not good with words. I'll mess it up if I try. But I have to try. He needs to know. He needs to know that, not only do I love him, but I'm also in love with him. I'm going to tell him. I just need to figure out how. Maybe Prongs'll know? Or Wormtail? Or, maybe I'll even ask Evans._

Remus lowered the note and sniffed a little. His mind began racing. He had so many questions. When did Sirius write this? Why did he write it? Did he want Remus to read it? Why was it so long? Was there really this much stuff that Sirius thought about him? Did Sirius really mean all of it? How had Remus not known he felt this way, if he did mean it all?

He folded the letter up carefully and rolled onto his side, clutching it tightly in his hand; just in case it blew away or disappeared. He sniffed again and frowned as he felt a tear escape from the corner of his eye and leak down the side of his face. He had been trying to hold it back but apparently that effort was in vain as the one salty tear had escaped anyway. He wiped it away and lay in his bed in silence.

Remus hated this time of the month. His emotions ran high and he couldn't help but cry at this time sometimes. Usually it was out of dismay, but this time, it wasn't. Everything that had been written on those pages had made him feel... happy? It was all stuff that he didn't know he did. He didn't know he had a smile that only Sirius got to see or that when he was angry the wolf revealed itself. He didn't know Sirius felt all of this stuff and noticed so many things about him.

Remus concentrated on the door and the muffled roars erupting from the common room down the stone steps a short distance away. He really wanted Sirius to come up those steps so that he could ask him about the note. But he knew Sirius was busy – being a social butterfly, no doubt. And Remus was way too comfortable as well as weary to move. Remus soon fell into a light sleep as he waited for the dorm room door to open again.

 **H+H+H+H+H**

Remus was soon awoken from his light sleep when his friends walked through the door mumbling quiet. Probably to avoid waking him, Remus thought. He watched his friends tumble into the room and separate to go to their respective beds.

He watched as Peter stumbled past his bed, over to his own, and collapsed heavily down on it. He heard no movement for a moment and thought that maybe Peter had already fallen asleep until he heard the springs creak and the curtains being closed. James noticed Remus was awake and waved mutely before he grabbed his PJs and small bag of toiletries, and went into the bathroom. Light flooded out of the small gap James left open in the doorway and after a brief moment Sirius followed into the bathroom with his own things in hand.

A familiar bark of laughter floated out and Remus smiled as he recognised it. A few minutes later, Sirius and James walked out of the bathroom together, murmuring to each other about something or other. James went to his own bed and Sirius walked over to Remus' to check on him.

"Hey," he said softly. He sat down on the edge of the bed and watched Remus, waiting patiently for a reply.

"Hi," Remus croaked – from the lack of use of his voice and the fact he'd been choking back an emotional response to a certain letter. He cleared his throat. "Hello. So, how'd it go down there?"

Sirius grinned. "Marlene is one strong lady," he informed, sounding suitably impressed. "She beat half of the common room until Peter versed her and won. Who'd've thought it of Wormy, ey?" he teased loudly, eliciting a laugh from James, a chuckle from Remus and a response from Peter.

"Oi, I 'eard that," the curtains of Peter's bed groaned before going silent again. Sirius just grinned in response and turned back to Remus.

"So, how've you been? You're looking better. Get much rest?"

"No, actually." Sirius frowned. Remus shifted in the bed and sat up to look at Sirius head on. He crossed his legs under the blankets, leaving room for Sirius to sit across from him on the bottom half of the bed. "Padfoot, could you close the curtains please?" he asked. He didn't miss Sirius gulp inaudibly and worry flit across his features.

Sirius nodded and climbed onto the bed in the space Remus had provided for him. He and James shared a look before he closed the curtains and turned to Remus. He looked down at his hands. Remus cast a silencing charm on the bed, so the other two couldn't listen in if they were planning on it. Not that Remus thought they were. But, just in case.

He watched Sirius fidget with his hands and sleeves. He thought that maybe Sirius knew what it was about. Remus looked around for the note and found it hidden under his pillows again. He must have slipped it under there when he fell asleep again, he concluded.

Remus pulled the note out and held it out in front of him and Sirius. He watched as Sirius recognised it and froze visibly. Sirius stopped fidgeting and stared at the note stiffly. Remus waited for Sirius to say something but he didn't. Remus sighed.

"Padfoot, what is this?" he asked gently but straight to the point.

Sirius looked up cautiously and seemed to sag with relief when he noticed Remus wasn't angry or upset with him. He grinned nervously. "Uh… It's a note…" he supplied shakily before he returned to gazing at his hands intently.

Remus was a little concerned. It was rare he ever saw Sirius in such a nerve ridden state. He'd only ever seen him this way a few times before: after the sorting in first year at the Gryffindor table; the first Animagus transformation in front of Remus; the first date he'd asked Remus on; their first kiss; their first time.

"Right…" Remus nodded weakly. "Right, I got that… I should've been clearer," he muttered more to himself. "What I should've said was – what I should have asked was: is this true? Everything written in the letter. Is this really what you think?"

Sirius took a deep breath before he tore his eyes from his hands and looked into Remus' eyes. His metallic grey eyes stared into Remus' with intensity. "Yes," he said faintly but with conviction.

Remus nodded slowly. "Why didn't you just say it? I mean, I know you have a way with words. Why did you think you'd mess this up?"

"I… I just, thought that maybe I would. I didn't – I didn't think I'd say it right. I thought I'd miss something out or… I dunno."

"Hm," Remus hummed his acknowledgment. "Sirius, is this a journal entry?" Sirius nodded. "Right. Did you want me to read it?" Sirius nodded again. "Right. When did you write this?"

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno. You keep telling me to write dates on things… but I always forget," he replied a little guiltily which made Remus chuckle and Sirius smile. "That's the laugh I was talking about," he remarked. "I wrote it a while ago, though. The… letter or note or whatever it is." He pointed to the paper folded up in between them to illustrate his words.

Remus laughed a little. "So, how long have you felt this way?"

"What? Honestly?" he laughed nervously.

"No, lie to me," Remus deadpanned making Sirius breathe a laugh.

"Right… Uh, well, I noticed it all before we started getting together. So, for the last five months at least."

"Why did you decide to tell me now? Why not earlier? Or later?"

"Well, like I said. I've been trying to find a way to tell you for ages," he said calmly, referring to the letter. "I thought now was the right time."

"Do you mean it all?"

"Every word," Sirius said sincerely.

Remus picked up the letter again and unfolded it. He skimmed over it. "Do I really have all of these different kinds of laughs and smiles?" Remus glanced up quickly to see Sirius nod. "How did you notice all of this stuff?"

Sirius groaned. "It's gonna sound creepy if I tell you."

Remus laughed. "I really want to know, now."

"I…" He cleared his throat. "I pay attention. I watch you. They just… I dunno, stand out? I just notice them, okay?" he shrugged helplessly.

"Okay," Remus grinned. "You think I'm beautiful?" he said in a teasing manner.

Sirius groaned. "Shut up… I know it's sappy. I just didn't know how else to say it," he reasoned.

Remus laughed. "Don't be embarrassed, Padfoot," he said comfortingly. "I'll let you know something…" He leaned in and Sirius looked up and leaned in too. "I liked it. I liked the whole 'allowing me to break your heart' part."

Sirius chuckled. "You soppy bastard!" he teased. Remus leaned back and rolled his eyes affectionately. Sirius took another deep sobering breath. "So… What now?" he asked.

Remus pondered for a moment. "I think you should tell me," Remus said thoughtfully, almost challengingly.

Sirius chewed on the inside of his lip and nodded. He shuffled forward and swallowed the almost visible lump in his throat. He looked up at Remus. "That's the smile, by the way," he remarked. Remus blushed a little. He hadn't realised he was smiling at all. Sirius and Remus locked eyes, grey boring into hazel-amber. "Remus John Lupin," Sirius began. "I love you. I... uh, I'm **in love** with you." Sirius swallowed before adding, "If I promise to give you my heart, would you please not break it?" he asked and grinned lopsidedly.

Remus pretended to think before he dragged Sirius, by the shirt, into a kiss. It was somewhat passionate; lips glided over each other knowingly and expertly. His other hand snaked around to hold the back of Sirius' neck. The kiss wasn't that much different to their usual ones but it also felt in some way very different too. Like something had changed but for the better. And, Remus supposed it probably had. Sirius was in love with him. Sirius was trusting him not to 'destroy' him. And that, well, that changed things.

When Remus pulled back, a little breathless, he stared into Sirius eyes and nodded. "I'll try not to break it," he promised. He pulled all the way back and let go of Sirius' shirt while removing his other hand from the back of Sirius' nape. He cleared his throat. "You want to sleep here tonight?"

Sirius' brow creased hesitantly. "You sure?"

Remus smiled. "Yes, I'm sure." He usually liked to sleep alone the night after full moons because he usually felt too ill but tonight he felt fine. And he hadn't had any temperature fluctuations, so he figured he'd be fine. Plus, he wanted to keep Sirius warm.

Sirius grinned widely. "Yeah," he accepted.

They shifted and shuffled and manoeuvred around in the bed space until they were both sleeping on their usual sides of the bed – Sirius on the left, Remus on the right – and Sirius was under the sheets. Remus draped his arm over Sirius waist and Sirius brought Remus' forearm so he could hold onto it as if he were a child with a teddy bear, effectively bringing Remus closer into him (and warming him up).

Remus smiled contentedly at the action and accepted the obvious attempt at bringing him closer, flush against Sirius' back. He rested his head on the pillow and breathed in the musky scent of the person in front of him. He decided he'd have to tell Sirius how he felt too. He'd have to tell him everything he noticed about him. He'd have to do something that would make Sirius feel the same way. He drifted off into an easy, comfortable slumber as he thought up of **how** to tell Sirius.

* * *

 **Note: I have an idea for a sequel or companion piece for this. It'll most likely be called 'Why Moony Should Tell Padfoot', if I do create it. Which I probably will - because I had fun writing this one.  
** **Note 2: Y'know, the funny thing is, I planned for this to be a short story (of like 1000-2000 words) and now it's, what, 6000+ (6188 words in total) words? Crazy, right?**

 **Anywho, thanks for reading =)**


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